I can't believe I am now eating as I have always wanted to...and I am really enjoying it! When you have a fear that has haunted you all your life and finally conquer it, well, liberation is pretty cool folks!. This process of healing, with raw foods, takes a while...no hurrying it! Testimonies I have read all said that it takes quite a while.

When I arrived home and my kids, four and six, ran up to me and said "Mommy are you going to be not sick anymore?. We have been praying for you to eat better, Are you better?" Well, holding back the tears, I said. Jesus did it in me and I am not going anywhere, I am your mommy forever and ever. My Daughter remembers coming to visit me in the hospital many, many times. She spent most of her young life worried that I wasn't going to come home to her. Now I can say for sure that I won't leave her. I never knew how much it affected her heart, worrying about me. I may complain about my body sometimes, when I am in pain. But I don't really let people know to what extent it goes. Several (4) of my diseases pain levels are compared to 1) stage four cancer 2) renal failure 3) and having surgery without anesthesia. Some days I can't even breath it hurts so bad. Pride, keeps a smile on my face when in public and until now my husband didn't even know what I was really experiencing. He can't help but worry and the stress of watching him trying 'not-to-worry' makes me sicker. So I just tell him I am ok and deal with it.

I am now 13 days raw and really feeling a difference. I had left overs from the train, and ate them today. I am missing my green juices and smoothies and notice a big difference without them. I will go to the store tomorrow and then the farmers market on Tuesday. Living in Germany is great, they always have farmers markets year around. I am praying about finding a food co-op, so I could get things in bulk and discounted. It takes alot to feed a family this way, in cost and quantity. I really need to have 1 to 2 green juices a day so I can heal. It really is the key,one juice is like having 5 big salads. I know that the Lord has called me to this and he will make a way.

Let me tell you what happened to me today.

I went with a friend to day to a shoe tent sale, I couldn't get anything but it was fun to try on shoes. I LOVE SHOES! I haven't bought myself any clothes or shoes for a year. We are missionary's on a missionary budget. So anyways, for some reason the manager of the store and myself started talking about life and Jesus. She was also a christian and we hit it off. It was time for me to go and just before I was going to thank her for the great conversation, She said that she wanted me to pick out a pair of any shoes and they were a gift from Jesus. Well, I started crying in amazement and pick out a pair of black boots. What is amazing is that I have been praying about getting a pair of black boots for a year. Every time I thought about buying a pair I would say to myself no, I can't spend support money on myself, and a want, Jesus will give me my boots when He wants me to have them. (My brown boots just last week busted a seam on the sides of both boots.) I decided to tell her of the last two weeks and what God was doing in my life. Do you know what she said, Have you heard of Hallelujah achers. I started to cry again, and explained to her my story and how I knew that the boots were from Jesus, and telling me, you did it, you concord your fear of food and was obedient to Me. "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" Phil 4:13 My Jesus is so wonderful to me, and always answers my prayers.

I will post some recipe's next week.

Until tomorrow

Amberlea